"Then Jesus said, 'Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?'" John 11:40 (NIV)
After my husband died, I felt unloved and
forgotten by God. I'd trusted Him and believed as His child nothing bad
would happen to me. Yet when something tragic did happen, I bought the
lie. "I knew it, God. I knew You really didn't love me!" He had promised
never to leave or desert me, but there I was, alone. How could God betray me? I wondered.
Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazarus, were
in Jesus' inner circle of friends. As part of the "in" crowd, Mary and
Martha felt certain Jesus would come to them when Lazarus got ill. They
had seen Jesus heal and minister to complete strangers. Surely, He'd
rush to those whom He loved. However, we see in John 11:4-6 that was not
the case.
Jesus indeed loved Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Yet, even after He heard Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was two more days.
Let's pause here for a moment. It can be
confusing. If Jesus loved His friends why did He wait to go to their
side? These verses appear to validate a fear of rejection. "If Jesus ignored His friend Lazarus, then He can ignore me too."
Do you know that hollow, helpless feeling
that accompanies the pain of rejection, loss and loneliness? It may be
the loss of your home or of a pregnancy, too many weekends spent alone,
or perhaps a loved one rejected you. That pain warns that trusting again
is too risky.
The truth is, when we experience emotional or
physical trauma, and God doesn't respond like we think He should, we
have two choices. Either turn to God, trusting Him with the result; or
run from God and feed on bitterness. It is possible for us to take the
second choice out all together. We can learn to trust again.
Perspective is often limited by
circumstances. God knows exactly what He's doing and it's always based
on love. As a young widow, when I was overcome with fear, I wasn't
really looking for answers. I needed the assurance that God was near, in
control, and that He cared about my circumstances and me.
While others may reject us, you and I need
not fear rejection from God. In the weeks and months after my husband's
death, I began to understand God had not left me, but was in the pit
with me. I started to see a deeper truth. Bad things are going to happen
to me while on earth.
Sickness, abuse and death are part of life in
a fallen world that God will someday restore. Until then, God may allow
me to go through these things. It's not to cause me any undue pain, but
rather He allows them and then uses them to accomplish spiritual
growth. Charles Stanley explains, "Some things are so important to God
that they are worth interrupting the happiness and health of His
children in order to accomplish them."
This was true with Mary and Martha. Jesus
told Martha that she would see the glory of God if she believed. If you
and I choose faith over fear, we will see the glory of God turn our pain
into life and blessings. Over the years, as I've turned to the Lord and
away from my fears, I've seen His glory in the gifts of my new husband
and three children.
As Mary and Martha believed, they witnessed
the glory of God when He raised their brother from the dead. Their fears
vanished and their faith was restored. If you and I want to exchange
our fear for faith, we must believe that what Christ has in store for us
is worth our present pain.
Dear Lord, even when I don't understand Your actions, help me trust that You have my best at heart. In Jesus' Name, Amen. (Micca Monda Campbell)
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