"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)
A close call with a truck on the freeway left
rubbery black smears on my oldest son's car. Unfortunately, Josh's
younger brother had borrowed it and caused the accident. Relief and
annoyance mixed together in Josh's heart.
Even though apologies and assurances to pay
were offered, Josh knew his brother didn't have the money to repair the
damage. And since the cost of the repair was probably less than the
insurance deductible, Josh decided to barter babysitting services for a
friend's detailing services. It was a smart and gracious solution.
His friend worked for eight hours
painstakingly removing the black streaks, and we all thought the car
looked great. Josh was proud of his decision to not charge his brother
and find a creative way to repair the car.
At least, until he showed his car to some
friends. Rather than see the good, all one person said was: "You can
still see the dent!"
Later that day, Josh complained in private, "All that work, and she only saw the dent!"
I reaffirmed his generous choices and tried
to bring back his joy in the repair. But the damage was done. My son
left me standing in the kitchen pondering the careless comment. And
wondering how many times I've only seen the dents.
There was a time when I could have made that
comment. Too often I had neglected the efforts my children made and only
seen the negative. Too often I had failed to acknowledge progress in
others and only seen what remained to be done. Even in my own life I
tend to focus on what isn't instead of celebrating what is.
The critical spirit displayed in a careless
comment flourished in me at one time. Yet I knew that disapproving
attitude wasn't compatible with the Jesus-follower I wanted to be. It
was opposite to scriptures I'd read, like today's verse in 1
Thessalonians which tells us to encourage and build each other up.
So years ago I asked God to remove any
remnant of unhealthy pride from my heart. I begged His forgiveness for
judgmental, critical thoughts and words, and asked for His spirit of
love and mercy to fill all those unkind places. I wanted to stop looking
at the "dents" and instead see the beauty of effort.
It took lots of honesty and confession to
deal with my ingrained habit of seeing the problem. Even after I reined
in my words, my heart still needed attention. Yet each time I faced the
ugly truth about what was going on inside, criticism loosened its grip,
allowing me to celebrate imperfect progress ñ in others and myself.
Do those critical thoughts still pop up? Yes
they do. I'll be honest, I saw the dent that remained on my son's car
too. But I immediately redirected my thoughts towards the generosity of a
brother who forgave. I chose to focus on his creative solution and the
kindness of his friend. And I thanked God my response that time had been
to see the positive and to celebrate with my son.
Repairs are
happening all around me. God is working in the lives of those I love;
He is working in mine too. My prayer is to get to the place where I
don't even see the dents. Instead, I want eyes and a heart that rejoice
with the smallest improvement, that praise potential and acknowledge
effort. As I seek to live out Jesus' request to love others, a critical
spirit needs to die, and a loving one needs to take its place.
Dear Lord, thank You for seeing the good
in me. Your thoughts are not critical and condemning, instead You
celebrate every little bit of progress I make. Your belief in me makes
me want to do better. Help me to give that gift to others and myself. In
Jesus name, Amen.(Glynnis Whitwer)
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